Positive reinforcements for kids.

I have travelled a little this month and enjoy sitting in the airport terminal “people watching” while waiting for my flight. When I look back in hindsight I wish I had mentioned my thoughts to the mother that I was observing, not that she was doing anything wrong. We all have our own ways of parenting and by gosh there is no manual to tell us the perfect way to raise our children, we do what we think is best. After all we only ever want what is best for our kids.

So anyway, knowing what it’s like to have littlies (back in the day, my youngest is 13 now) and keeping them occupied during boring situations can be a task in itself!! The child was lovely, not loud, not running around screaming or disturbing anyone, the child was actually quite well behaved. The child went to the window to look  at the planes, “don’t touch the glass”, the child went to put her foot on the ledge, “don’t put your foot up there, get your foot off there now!”, the child wandered a little but still in mums sight, “don’t go there, get back here now! I’m sick of talking to you, you’re naughty”. Now we have all been there when disciplining our children, I’m guilty too!  But I couldn’t help but think, wow is that what I was like? Did I sound that way? The pattern I was picking up on was “don’t” and I thought to myself well ok so what “can” the child do then?

Later it got me thinking is this how negativity and disbelief in ourselves starts, with “you can’t do that or you can’t do this”. I grew up where I was taught that you don’t interfere in other peoples business and you keep your opinions to yourself unless asked. But gee I wish I shared my thoughts with this mum and explained how things sounded from my perspective. After all it’s a lot easier to see these things from outside of the circle, so to speak. I don’t know whether she would have appreciated it or thought I was rude, but I do wish I had taken the opportunity to share my thoughts. And I must reiterate the mum wasn’t doing anything wrong, she was just doing her best or what she thought was right.

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